Friday, January 30, 2009
Blogroll Amnesty Day
B.A.D. to da B.O.N.E. (Blogs Of Notable Excellence)
What is B.A.D.?
Oh, gentle traveller, 'tis a righteous tale of woe and repression, of demons and Orcs, and of salvation and retribution. Come hither, sit and take a repast of bread and brew and I shall weave this tale for you.
Yes, it was long ago in the Time before the Great Emancipator, when King George the Simple and his grand vizier, the evil overlord Darth Cheney did rule the land.
There was battle and bloodshed in Blogtopia (from Sir Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo did we come by that name!) as we took umbrage from the denizens of the Overlord. We fought the knaves of Red State and the flying monkeys of the Freepers; many of our kind did conquer the ugly, dreadful lies of King George. All of the Liberal blogs had fought bravely, the great and powerful to the small and meek. Side by side did we wage a mighty war for truth, justice and American Pie.
But victory was not ours as the Idiot King and the evil vizier, Cheney took the throne over Prince Kerry of Cape Cod. There was a great and mournful wail that came up from the beaten warriors of Blogtopia.
Sad as this defeat was, sadder still was the recriminations and oath breaking that did accompany thus. The great and powerful blogs, once mighty and golden symbols of Progress, began to grow fat and conceited. They formed great councils of blogdom, gathered the aristocracy of the Liberal Web to plan and scheme. But they did close the gates of their magnificent castles to the lesser blogs. They had once proudly announced to all in Blogtopia who their allies were in the Great War with the Idiot King, but no more. They had grown complacent, allowed themselves to be turned away from the common folk they had come from and be corrupted by soundbites, spotlights, and fair maidens of the Media.
They locked their castles to the lowly blogs. Left them to wither in the wind and be consumed by the Overlord's minions. So, gentle traveller, our tale might have ended here, sad and lonely, with the awful demise of the tiny blogs.
But, lo, there was a great sound that came forth from the lesser bloggers. They would take on the minions themselves, without the fat and bloated Royal Blogs. Those who were of greater size would take a handful of smaller blogs under their wing and put their visage prominently upon their walls. Thus did the good folks of Blogtopia learn of the wonder of the lesser blogs, feast upon the tender morsels of goodness and flights of magic and fantasy. This day was hence forth known as "Blogroll Amnesty Day", a day to post upon your blog the links to five blogs smaller than yourself.
What? You want more? Is there more to this tale?
Yes, there is!
And lo, did King George the Simple come to the end of his reign and Darth Cheney did answer the call of his master, the Great Corporate Beast. The war for supremacy took a mighty turn when the Blogs once again answered the call to defeat the Orcs and Demons of the Overlord. The Idiot King had tried to place his crown upon the head of Sir John the Ancient, but there was too much strife and poverty in the land. The townsfolk had grown weary of the lavish ways of the King and his minions and began to listen to the Liberal Blogs. Soon, a mighty warrior came forth from the common folk to claim the crown for himself. Sir Barack of Obama did take his place in the Great House of the People. The lesser blogs did defeat the flying monkeys and the Eaters of Cheetos and a great and mighty cheer was heard across Blogtopia.
That, my good friend, is why we celebrate B.A.D. today. Because there is no blog too small to make a big splash.
(this video link was blatantly stolen from Blue Gal)
So Mote It Be,