B.A.D. to da B.O.N.E. (Blogs Of Notable Excellence)
What is B.A.D.?
Oh, gentle traveller, 'tis a righteous tale of woe and repression, of demons and Orcs, and of salvation and retribution. Come hither, sit and take a repast of bread and brew and I shall weave this tale for you.
Yes, it was long ago in the Time before the Great Emancipator, when King George the Simple and his grand vizier, the evil overlord Darth Cheney did rule the land.
There was battle and bloodshed in Blogtopia (from Sir Skippy, the Bush Kangaroo did we come by that name!) as we took umbrage from the denizens of the Overlord. We fought the knaves of Red State and the flying monkeys of the Freepers; many of our kind did conquer the ugly, dreadful lies of King George. All of the Liberal blogs had fought bravely, the great and powerful to the small and meek. Side by side did we wage a mighty war for truth, justice and American Pie.
But victory was not ours as the Idiot King and the evil vizier, Cheney took the throne over Prince Kerry of Cape Cod. There was a great and mournful wail that came up from the beaten warriors of Blogtopia.
Sad as this defeat was, sadder still was the recriminations and oath breaking that did accompany thus. The great and powerful blogs, once mighty and golden symbols of Progress, began to grow fat and conceited. They formed great councils of blogdom, gathered the aristocracy of the Liberal Web to plan and scheme. But they did close the gates of their magnificent castles to the lesser blogs. They had once proudly announced to all in Blogtopia who their allies were in the Great War with the Idiot King, but no more. They had grown complacent, allowed themselves to be turned away from the common folk they had come from and be corrupted by soundbites, spotlights, and fair maidens of the Media.
They locked their castles to the lowly blogs. Left them to wither in the wind and be consumed by the Overlord's minions. So, gentle traveller, our tale might have ended here, sad and lonely, with the awful demise of the tiny blogs.
But, lo, there was a great sound that came forth from the lesser bloggers. They would take on the minions themselves, without the fat and bloated Royal Blogs. Those who were of greater size would take a handful of smaller blogs under their wing and put their visage prominently upon their walls. Thus did the good folks of Blogtopia learn of the wonder of the lesser blogs, feast upon the tender morsels of goodness and flights of magic and fantasy. This day was hence forth known as "Blogroll Amnesty Day", a day to post upon your blog the links to five blogs smaller than yourself.
What? You want more? Is there more to this tale?
Yes, there is!
And lo, did King George the Simple come to the end of his reign and Darth Cheney did answer the call of his master, the Great Corporate Beast. The war for supremacy took a mighty turn when the Blogs once again answered the call to defeat the Orcs and Demons of the Overlord. The Idiot King had tried to place his crown upon the head of Sir John the Ancient, but there was too much strife and poverty in the land. The townsfolk had grown weary of the lavish ways of the King and his minions and began to listen to the Liberal Blogs. Soon, a mighty warrior came forth from the common folk to claim the crown for himself. Sir Barack of Obama did take his place in the Great House of the People. The lesser blogs did defeat the flying monkeys and the Eaters of Cheetos and a great and mighty cheer was heard across Blogtopia.
That, my good friend, is why we celebrate B.A.D. today. Because there is no blog too small to make a big splash.
(this video link was blatantly stolen from Blue Gal)
Every day we hear more and more bullshit. Shitthat gives me cause to break out the pitchfork and start marching up the road to the castle. I want to hear the fucking truth, not the crap that the powers that be feel we should hear.
Now, I want to give Obama the time he needs to get this runaway train under control but he has to understand that this deference has conditions. He's come before the people on quite a few occasions and said pointblank what has to happen to turn this shit around. We support that.
Infrastructure. Health Care Reform. Accountability of Government. Mortgage Assistance. The list isn't that long but it is daunting.
We, the American People, understand that this is BORROWED money. Fuck, the last eight years saw at least 10 times the cost of this stimulus package run up on the People's Plastic. For what? What do we have to show for a TEN TRILLION DOLLAR debt courtesy of George W. Bush and the Republican Party?
What we need is to get past this and on to putting shovel to dirt, hammer to nail and pen to paper. You say we have to get beyond politics then you dive into the middle of it with 50 lbs of dead weight tied to your ankles. Those weights have names. Jettison them. Get to shore, shake yourself off and get to work. Fuck the Republicans! They Are Not Important!
You extended the hand of cooperation and bipartisanship and got it bit. You know the Chinese proverb - "Fool me once....?"
Why, oh fucking why are we asking these Brooks Brothers Buttfucks to approve the stimulus package?
We own them. They are a racist, dickless, regional embarrassment to American politics. We have the numbers, we have the people's back, we have the issues. What we seem to lack are leaders with cajones.
So, my friends and allies, start sharpening the tines and waxing the handles 'cause the ride's gonna get real fucking bumpy from here.
The Democratic Party, with the deference of the President, is about to capitulate once again to the GOP.
After winning the most decisive election in the last 70 years, with the most abundant political capital seen in D.C. since Reagan, the Democratic Party is about to cave in to the weakest Republican minority in history. The Republicans have bullied this party to the point where the mere hint of opposition to Democratic policies causes them to fold like a lawn chair.
Jesus H. Christ on a Toast Point, get a fucking backbone! When will we ever learn that the Democratic Leadership has all the character of wet toilet paper?
sent to my senators:
How can we accomplish the task of bringing this country back from the brink if we repeatedly trudge down the same road that got us here? Why do you consistently insist on capitulating to the GOP? Look up the definition of the word 'coward'. Tell Sen. Reid what it means.
You won the White House. Act like it! Forget bipartisanship, you can accomplish our goals without the people who got us in this mess. Yes you can!
The only bipartisanship I want to see is when we knock 'em to the ground, step on their backs and climb out of the hole they dug us into. Get to work!
Someone send some calcium supplements to Congress, stat!
Now the clean-up can begin. Not just the bunting and the confetti on the National Mall, but putting the People's House back together after eight years of Bush & Cheney trashing the place. Like the morning after a teenager's party at his parents' house, we have come home to a disaster zone filled with stinking trash and broken furniture. And like parents, we can't reach over and pull the gizzards out of the offending teen, we have to be responsible and put things right. Then we can start pulling out gizzards.
Which brings me to the steps being taken to clean this shit up. From personal experience, I know that if something gets fucked up, the last person to decide how to fix it is the person who fucked it up. If I trashed my parents' house, I don't get to decide how to clean it. I get the honor of picking up the garbage, hauling the trash, gluing the furniture back together and anything else my dad tells me to do. Dad gets the honor of standing over me with his belt, watching me work. What do you think would happen if I told the old man that he should pay someone else to do the clean up so I can go out with my friends? Yeah, I thought so...
This country is broken. Broken in as many ways as you can count. Every time the Republicans took control of the situation, they made it worse. They saw this country as their personal playground. They didn't have to take responsibility for anything because they were The Boss and Bosses pass the buck. Missing money wasn't the fault of the person who took it, but the fault of the accounting geek who found out. Tearing up the environment wasn't bad if you could show how to make a shit load of money doing it. If someone pissed you off, you just called them an enemy combatant and put them in jail; no charges, no trial, no problem - simple. No one was going to hold them accountable, no one was going to call them on their bullshit; it was Good Times in the Good Ol' USA!
And the Democrats stood by and watched. They didn't raise their hand and say shit. They stood by and watched their sibling party trash the House. They watched as the furniture got broke, they watched as the windows were shattered, watched as the cat was shaved - stood by and did nothing. Now, when the time has come to pay the piper, they're standing there as the Republicans point to them and say "They did it!"
Fuck That!
President Obama has made a lot of progress in setting down what needs to be done. But what he doesn't need to do is let the Republicans to decide what happens next. They've already made it perfectly clear what they want to do. They want someone else to clean up this mess. They want to outsource it to anyone but themselves. They feel that the policies that got us in this shit hole are good enough to get us out. All I have to say on that is:
Dude, if you're trying to get out of a shit hole and the only offer of help from the Republicans is another shovel, it's time to stop asking them for help. We need to get OUT of the hole first before we start digging a new one. Understand this: the Republican Party does not want to help. They only want you to fail. Being all 'Kumbaya, let's be bipartisan' is bullshit.
This is how to solicit help from the GOP: Kick 'em in the nuts, step on their back and climb out of the hole. When they've learned their lesson, admit their mistakex and apologize, then we might lower a rope.
Sounds pretty tough, right? Sounds kinda cold-hearted and cruel. In fact, it sounds damned familiar. This is what the GOP has been doing to the Democratic Party for 25 years.
Let me pause for a moment to thank John Amato for his links above. He goes off on the same tangent as I but with a much larger audience. Right On, Brother John!
Here's the clip from the Rachel Maddow Show with Economics Professor Paul Krugman and Congressman Peter DeFazio (D-OR). LISTEN TO THEM! Why? Hell, Prof. Krugman is only the most recent recipient of the goddamn Noble Prize in Economics and Cong. DeFazio is only the Chair of the House Subcommittee on Highways and Transit. They know of what they speak, they've been dealing with this shit for years.
Who have the Republicans got? Rush Limpdick and BillO the Clown.
The graphic she had up showed that 33% of the stimulus package will go to tax cuts and only 18% for infrastructure.
Wha? 18%?
There's enough broken shit in this country to keep us busy for decades and the longer we piss around the worse it's going to get. That bridge in Minneapolis didn't fall because it was brand new, it failed because it was neglected. When will the next bridge fail, the next highway collapse or water main explode? What happens to the Gulf Coast when hurricane season comes upon us and another Category 3, 4 or, goddess forbid, a 5 slams into it?
Tax cuts are not the answer, they are the fucking problem. I don't want a check for $300 if I have to drive over a bridge that's ready to crumble. Keep the fucking $300 and fix the goddamn bridge. It's time we recognize that this mess is ours now, as in belongs to us. We didn't make it but we have to fix it. We have to take ownership of it in order to put it to rest. We cannot count on the Republicans to help and we shouldn't...here's why...
When Ronald Reagan made his wingnut speech about how government was not the solution but the problem, he set into motion the wheels of the GOP Gravy Train. Once they realized that they had the power of Nixon and the face of a movie star; the sky was the limit. America became their playground and they had a ball. Reagan ran up the deficit and the national debt like a drunken sailor, blaming Democrats at every step. Lee Atwater (rot in Hell, you bastard!) was Reagan's Merlin. He wove a spell of doublespeak and nuance that framed the discourse to flummox the media and the Democrats. He actually had some of the Dems believing that it was their fault. Can you say 'Blue Dogs'? I knew you could.
When Reagan termed out, they tried to do the same thing with Poppa Bush but he was no Reagan. He screwed the pooch and got kicked to the curb by Bill Clinton. Nothing could have pissed off the Republicans more than to see a charismatic Southern jimbo like Clinton take the White House away so soon after Ronnie. Well, we saw what it did to the GOP. They went apoplectic. Lee Atwater, on his death bed, passed his magic wand to Karl Rove then died in agony. (That's Karma, bitch) Despite America's need for real leadership, Rove took out his Faustian contract and put Poppa Bush's Dim Son in the White House. Eight long fucking years of corruption, torture, graft, violations of civil and human rights, and pissing on the Constitution. The worst part... they did it without an iota of regret.
That sordid chunk of history shows beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Republican Party looks out for their own self interests, always thinking of '#1'. It also shows that they care as much for the American people as they do for their hired help - keep them in the dark, pay them next to nothing and if the authorities get too close, turn them over to the INS for the reward. Self-centered, greedy, soulless cretins all. They lie, cheat, steal, and would toss an old lady under a train to get to a nickel off the ground. They have NO honor - none, zip, zilch, nada, no way, no how, not now, not never. Trust and Republicans should be treated like matter/antimatter; they cannot exist in the same place at the same time.
So, President Obama, put away your bipartisan speeches and put on your hip waders ass kickers. Take out the bulk of those bullshit tax cuts and put back the projects that were removed. I would rather have a steady paycheck repairing a bridge or installing cable across the country than a single check for a few hundred dollars.
Besides, I would only use it to buy weed anyway.
Update: I changed 'hip waders' on a suggestion from BK at Ornery Bastard. Puts the cherry on the post.
