Monday, May 19, 2008

Red Dawn Remix

Now, I'm no big fan of New York. Can't really comment much since I've never been there. It would be a kick to visit but this is not one of my ten most desired homesteads.

So, this morning while trolling about the 'Toobs. I came across this gem from
Fuego del whisky.

So, according to this 'Dirty Harry' goon, Manhattan would be the perfect place to invade if you were a group of Islamofascists hellbent on subverting our freedoms. Really? Of all the places I would invade, New York is down on the list. After the tragedy of 9/11, we saw how New Yorkers came together to help and protect their loved ones. I couldn't imagine it would be this cakewalk that Ol' Harry seems to think. In fact, any group invading New York would have their plate full in a 'New York Minute' sort of speak. My money would be on the New Yorkers.

But the Wingers love to play games with reality, shaping it so that their little penis to big penis fantasies play out as the gossip truth. If it wasn't so pathetic, it would be hilarious.

Maybe I should give this a try.

Let's play this remake Red Dawn game, the one where Red Dawn is remade with these substitutions:

Colorado is now Iraq.
The Cubans replace the British.
The Wolverines still come from a local high school but are a soccer club.
The Americans are the Russians.

Everything else remains the same. Story, scenes, sets, and special effects.

In fact, you could play the whole movie without any alteration other than those labels.

When the movie came out, it both enraged and delighted me. It showed how resourceful we could be in the face of dire circumstances and hopeless odds. Hell, who doesn't like to see American kicking ass against an old enemy, one that we've never truly tested. We know that any all-out war against the Soviets would have led to our mutual destruction so we never got the chance to see who's the king of the hill.

But reality is a bitch. It won't let us make a damn fool out of ourselves and risk the whole fucking world. The problem is that there are many folks around here who can't grasp this whole 'concept' of reality. The Kindergardener in Chief is a card-carrying member of this group.

Bush III the Simple has allowed us to become the bad guy in an action film.


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